Suffering is an inevitable part of life. At some point, we will all experience pain, grief, and hardship. When this happens, the support of friends and loved ones can be a great comfort. But how we respond to others in their suffering matters greatly.

Job was suffering deeply, and in a short span of time, he lost his wealth, his loved ones, and even his own health (Job 2:4). His suffering was so great that even his outward appearance was distorted to the point that his friends could not recognize him.

Job’s three friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar, upon hearing of his suffering, initially demonstrated what true friendship looks like. They travelled from their own lands to be physically present with him. This alone was an act of love and friendship. From afar, when they saw how drastically his physical appearance had changed, they mourned deeply alongside him. They tore their robes, wept, and sprinkled dust on their heads. These were cultural expressions of deep sorrow, showing that they genuinely felt Job’s pain. Most importantly, they sat with him in silence for seven days and nights. Their silence was profound—it showed respect, solidarity, and deep empathy. They didn’t rush to explain his suffering or offer empty words. They simply sat with Job in his anguish and silence.

By being present with Job, they communicated their love and comfort. By remaining silent, they acknowledged that Job’s pain was too deep for words, allowing him space to grieve without interruption or judgment. Ecclesiastes 3:7 tells us that there is “a time to be silent and a time to speak.” Their silent presence was their greatest gift to Job in his suffering.

Yet, when they finally spoke, they became "miserable comforters" (Job 16:2), making Job’s suffering even worse. As soon as Job finally spoke (Job 3), pouring out his anguish, his friends could no longer keep silent, and that’s when things went wrong. Instead of comforting Job, they tried to explain his suffering through their own experiences, making assumptions that he must have done something to deserve it. Eliphaz argued that Job must have done something wrong to deserve his suffering (Job 4:7-8). Bildad insisted that Job’s children had died because of their own sins (Job 8:4). Zophar was the harshest, declaring that Job’s suffering was probably less than he actually deserved (Job 11:6).

Job’s story shows that suffering isn’t always a direct result of personal sin. Sometimes, it is part of a greater spiritual battle or a test of faith. Instead of giving quick explanations, we must learn to speak truth lovingly and wisely.

Dear brothers and sisters, in our attempts to comfort those who are suffering, we are often quick to offer solutions. Like Job’s three friends, we sometimes hear statements such as:

“Don’t be sad; you must trust God and be strong.”

“It is not as bad as you think; it could have been worse.”

“Think about it—have you done something wrong? If not, why is this happening to you?”

While these words may be well-intentioned, they can often do more harm than good. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is give people the space to cry out to God and express their deep anguish. The Psalms (Psalms 6, 10, 38, and 130) are filled with lament and raw honesty, showing that it is okay to question, grieve, and express frustration before God.

The Psalmist in Psalm 6:3 says, “My soul is in deep anguish. How long, Lord, how long?” God allows us to express our deep emotions to Him, and we can provide a safe space for others to do the same. Instead of rushing to provide answers, we should listen, empathize, and pray with them. Through this, we reassure them that lament is not a lack of faith, but an act of faith—bringing our pain to a God who hears our cries.

Dear brothers and sisters, in many situations of suffering, the best way we can provide comfort is through our silent presence. Silence does not mean passivity—it can be a powerful act of love, allowing space for grief and reflection. May the Lord give us the wisdom to bring true comfort to those around us who are in pain.

Prayer: Lord, thank You for being our greatest Comforter, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from You. Help us, O God, to have greater empathy for those who are suffering and the wisdom to comfort deeply through our silent presence. Amen.