Last 5 Days
Resolving Conflict
22 When it was told Laban on the third day that Jacob had fled, 23 he took his kinsmen with him and pursued him for seven days and followed close after him into the hill country of Gilead. 24 But God came to Laban the Aramean in a dream by night and said to him, “Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.”
25 And Laban overtook Jacob. Now Jacob had pitched his tent in the hill country, and Laban with his kinsmen pitched tents in the hill country of Gilead. 26 And Laban said to Jacob, “What have you done, that you have tricked me and driven away my daughters like captives of the sword? 27 Why did you flee secretly and trick me, and did not tell me, so that I might have sent you away with mirth and songs, with tambourine and lyre? 28 And why did you not permit me to kiss my sons and my daughters farewell? Now you have done foolishly. 29 It is in my power to do you harm. But the God of your father spoke to me last night, saying, ‘Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.’ 30 And now you have gone away because you longed greatly for your father's house, but why did you steal my gods?” 31 Jacob answered and said to Laban, “Because I was afraid, for I thought that you would take your daughters from me by force. 32 Anyone with whom you find your gods shall not live. In the presence of our kinsmen point out what I have that is yours, and take it.” Now Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen them.
33 So Laban went into Jacob's tent and into Leah's tent and into the tent of the two female servants, but he did not find them. And he went out of Leah's tent and entered Rachel's. 34 Now Rachel had taken the household gods and put them in the camel's saddle and sat on them. Laban felt all about the tent, but did not find them. 35 And she said to her father, “Let not my lord be angry that I cannot rise before you, for the way of women is upon me.” So he searched but did not find the household gods.
36 Then Jacob became angry and berated Laban. Jacob said to Laban, “What is my offense? What is my sin, that you have hotly pursued me? 37 For you have felt through all my goods; what have you found of all your household goods? Set it here before my kinsmen and your kinsmen, that they may decide between us two. 38 These twenty years I have been with you. Your ewes and your female goats have not miscarried, and I have not eaten the rams of your flocks. 39 What was torn by wild beasts I did not bring to you. I bore the loss of it myself. From my hand you required it, whether stolen by day or stolen by night. 40 There I was: by day the heat consumed me, and the cold by night, and my sleep fled from my eyes. 41 These twenty years I have been in your house. I served you fourteen years for your two daughters, and six years for your flock, and you have changed my wages ten times. 42 If the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, had not been on my side, surely now you would have sent me away empty-handed. God saw my affliction and the labor of my hands and rebuked you last night.”
43 Then Laban answered and said to Jacob, “The daughters are my daughters, the children are my children, the flocks are my flocks, and all that you see is mine. But what can I do this day for these my daughters or for their children whom they have borne? 44 Come now, let us make a covenant, you and I. And let it be a witness between you and me.” 45 So Jacob took a stone and set it up as a pillar. 46 And Jacob said to his kinsmen, “Gather stones.” And they took stones and made a heap, and they ate there by the heap. 47 Laban called it Jegar-sahadutha, but Jacob called it Galeed. 48 Laban said, “This heap is a witness between you and me today.” Therefore he named it Galeed, 49 and Mizpah, for he said, “The Lord watch between you and me, when we are out of one another's sight. 50 If you oppress my daughters, or if you take wives besides my daughters, although no one is with us, see, God is witness between you and me.”
51 Then Laban said to Jacob, “See this heap and the pillar, which I have set between you and me. 52 This heap is a witness, and the pillar is a witness, that I will not pass over this heap to you, and you will not pass over this heap and this pillar to me, to do harm. 53 The God of Abraham and the God of Nahor, the God of their father, judge between us.” So Jacob swore by the Fear of his father Isaac, 54 and Jacob offered a sacrifice in the hill country and called his kinsmen to eat bread. They ate bread and spent the night in the hill country.
55 Early in the morning Laban arose and kissed his grandchildren and his daughters and blessed them. Then Laban departed and returned home.
Jacob resolved his conflict with his uncle by running away, as most people do. And by the time Laban found out, Jacob had already left. It took Laban ten days to pursue him and caught up with him in Gilead. God spoke to him in a dream just before he met up with Jacob. He told Laban not to say anything good or bad to Jacob (verse 24). Thus, when Laban met Jacob, he did not do anything or say anything bad about him (verse 29).
Fear causes Jacob to flee instead of confronting his problems with Laban which caused him to leave. This was Jacob’s explanation: “I was afraid because I thought you would take your daughters away from me by force.” Jacob did not know his wife, Rachel, had stolen her father’s gods. Thus, he added, “If you find anyone who has your gods, that person shall not live.” He said to Laban that he can take anything back that belonged to him.
Laban searched and came to Rachel’s tent, Rachel sat on the camel where she hid the idol under its saddle. She told her father, “Don’t be angry, my lord, that I cannot stand up in your presence; I’m having my period.” So, Laban failed to find anything belonging to him. Jacob asked, “What did I do wrong that you would hunt me down?” As he finally dared to address the problem. He accused Laban of exploiting him for the last twenty years. He said he took good care of his animals without any miscarriages. He also did not take any animals as food for himself. If an animal was killed by wild beasts or was lost, he worked long hours to repay them.
For fourteen years, he worked for Laban to marry his two daughters, and another six years after negotiating with him for his wages. Ten times, Laban changed the terms of the agreements. The reason he left without telling him was out of fear for him. Fear causes us to do foolish things. But although he was afraid of Laban, it was wrong for him to leave without allowing his father-in-law to say farewell to his daughters and grandchildren.
Jacob said God saw his hardship and He was with him. He intervened so Laban would not harm him when he caught up with him or else, he might be harmed and everything he had will be taken away from him. When Laban heard what Jacob said, he had nothing to say except that what Jacob had, his wives, children, and flock were once belonging to him. But to resolve their conflict was better than to stay in it. So, they settled their differences with a covenant by setting a pillar of stones as a witness.
Jacob set up a pillar of stones which Laban called, Jegar Sahadutha, “This heap is a witness between you and me today.” Jacob called it, Galeed, also known as Mizpah (Watchtower). It stood as a witness of the resolution between them before God. God was their witness.
Laban was afraid he would mistreat his two daughters, so Jacob promised not to take other wives. And if he ever breaks the promise, God will be his judge. Laban, on the other hand, promised that he will not cross the line of the pile of stones to harm Jacob or that God will be his judge. Jacob took an oath in the name of his father, Isaac, and made a sacrifice; and gave his relatives a feast. The next morning, he bid farewell to his grandchildren and daughters and blessed them before leaving to go home.
Laban started the pursuit angry with Jacob and wanted to hurt him. But now parted with him by blessing Jacob and his family. This is possible because God intervened and blessed them because of his covenantal promise to Abraham that He will bless his descendants. We learn here that we can make mistakes even with our closest relatives.
However. if we allow God to be involved in our conflicts and lives as each of us continues to fear God, we will do the right thing. Then we can have a good resolution and put an end to our conflicts like Jacob and his father-in-law, Laban. Yet, when separation is inevitable, we should separate well as friends and not as enemies. It must bring glory to God and bless others as we are related in Christ as a family. Glory be to the Lord!
