In Chapter 20, Joab, David’s nephew, once again continues the prophesied violence and betrayal that characterised much of the later part of David’s reign (2 Sam 12:10-11). While Joab fought and won many battles for the king as his main general, he was stubborn, impulsive, and always thought his own judgement was better than David, the foolish idealist. He’s already killed 2 people David wanted to forgive (Chp 2, Chp 18). In today’s chapter, David has ordered that Amasa would take Joab’s place as commander of David’s armies. So, what does Joab do to Amasa? Well, unsurprisingly, Joab kills him!

Yet, David was still very dependent on Joab throughout his life. He could never really get rid of Joab. David was so frustrated and stuck in such a toxic relationship of co-dependency, he felt that he could not discipline Joab himself, and only God could repay and punish Joab (3:39). How can we learn from Joab and David’s relationship?

Church, I think Joab’s character gives us an opportunity to reflect. At some point of our Christian walks, we will inevitably be "Joabs" to people around us. Especially for those of us serving, when we get used to our ministries our ways of doing things, we find it difficult to change our minds and trust others’ decisions. We are get so caught up in the ‘do, do, do’ of ministry work that we never catch our breath, to really think about the people we are supposed to be serving, in love. We make decisions that hurt others, putting them down so that we get our way. We pride ourselves for our perseverance in a difficult ministry, and we maybe even complain that ‘no one else has the right heart to do ministry.’ Our work, both for the Joab and the non-Joab, becomes a joyless struggle with no real agreement, always fighting each others’ decisions.

The church will always be filled with sinners who inevitably step on each other’s toes, and prone to ‘Joab-ness’. No matter how capable we are, all of us are still sinners while we live on this earth, which means that our judgement does fail. We should never think ourselves infallible, that it’s our way or the highway. We have to always be asking ourselves - Could my decision be wrong? Will a difference in the way something is being done really be that bad? Can I trust that God is sovereign over His work, and be patient to let someone try a different way, even if it ‘fails’ in the end? Have I honoured God and honour the people around me through this whole process? Did they feel loved and encouraged by my words and actions?

Sometimes, of course, there are situations when someone around us really does not know what is best for them, and we need to step in, as it is the right, loving, and godly thing to do. A parent should confiscate the knife from a child even though the child thinks it is a toy. But amongst brothers and sisters, bought by the same blood, led by the same Spirit and serving the same Lord (Eph 4:4-6), there is a much higher chance that the disagreement can be resolved by an honest, gentle, but serious discussion on what decision most honours God, if both parties are equally committed to loving God and loving man in everything they do.

Have you been a Joab to people around you?

Prayer: Father, help us in our proud and stubborn hearts to be quick to listen, slow to speak. Quick to think, slow to act. Help us to examine our lives for any Joab-like behaviour that has caused hurt to our brothers and sisters, our leaders. Help us to submit to one another, just as Christ submitted to God. Let us remember that ministry is first and foremost about building people up, and not just getting things done. Fill us with your love God! Amen.