There are few things more painful than being misunderstood, especially when that misunderstanding comes from someone who claims to care. In his book Well-Intentioned Dragons, Marshall Shelley describes a group of Christians who genuinely want to help the church, who sincerely believe they are saying or doing the right thing, but somehow end up causing more harm than healing. Their intentions are good, but their timing, tone, or assumptions miss the mark. And the result? Deep wounds where there should have been comfort.

In Job 18, we meet one such dragon: Bildad. He believed he was defending God’s truth and upholding divine justice. But in his second speech to Job, he escalates his rebuke and becomes more harsh and accusatory than before. Unlike his earlier words in chapter 8, where he offered a sliver of hope, here Bildad abandons all gentleness. His belief in the rigid principle of retribution—the idea that the wicked suffer and the righteous prosper—blinded him to Job’s reality. He assumed that because Job was suffering, he must have sinned.

Instead of drawing near with empathy, Bildad challenged Job’s claim of innocence. In verses 1–4, he dismissed Job’s cries and criticized him as arrogant and stubborn. “Shall the earth be forsaken for you?” he asked, implying that Job’s protests were disrupting the moral order of the world. He couldn’t imagine a scenario in which a righteous man might suffer. So, he made the easy—but devastating—conclusion: Job must be wicked.

From verses 5–21, Bildad paints a vivid and poetic picture of the downfall of the wicked. He describes a man whose light goes out (v5), whose steps are trapped (v9–10), whose name is forgotten (v16–17), and whose family line is cut off (v19). These images are striking, but also deeply painful when directed at someone already in anguish. Though Bildad’s theology contained pieces of truth, his application of it was tragically misplaced. In trying to speak “for God,” he ended up piling more suffering on Job’s already wounded soul.

Bildad becomes a cautionary example for all of us, especially those in leadership or ministry. It’s easy to slip into the role of a well-intentioned dragon—offering truth without tenderness, or insight without understanding. And though our words may be doctrinally sound, they can become tools of discouragement when not clothed in compassion.

Here are a few modern-day examples of dragon-like phrases that can unintentionally wound:

• “Why doesn’t the church do something about…” or “I’m just calling your attention to something important.” These words can sting if not paired with a willingness to be part of the solution. Genuine concern leads to loving action, not just pointed critique.

• “I’m only giving you feedback so we can be better...” Feedback is vital, but timing, tone, and relationship matter. Without those, even well-meant feedback can become a heavy burden to those already carrying much.

• “You just need to have more faith.” This implies that someone’s suffering is their fault—a result of weak belief. It adds guilt to grief and often drives people deeper into isolation.

• “Be humble, God is teaching you a lesson.” While God does teach through trials, such a statement can make Him seem distant or punitive rather than gentle and present.

The issue isn’t always what is said—but how it’s said, and when. A well-intentioned dragon may speak truth, but without love and discernment, that truth can become a weapon. Dragons tend to critique more than they comfort, and in doing so, they can destroy the enthusiasm and morale that are so necessary for the health of any community—especially the church.

Dear brothers and sisters, as followers of Jesus, let us aim to live as the people of grace. Let’s choose empathy over assumption, presence over pronouncement. Before speaking, ask: Is this helpful? Is this healing? Am I speaking truth with love? In the end, it’s not just about being right. It’s about reflecting the heart of Christ—the One who came not to condemn the broken, but to come in the spirit of love of Christ.

Prayer: Dear God, we are not perfect but please help us to be mindful and to speak truth with love and in humility. Help us as a church to build a gospel centred culture, where we aim to edify, restore and build up rather than to destroy and stumble. Help us to live out your gentleness in our community. In Jesus name we pray, amen.